If you suspect that a friend or relative suffers from a phobia, you will want to help. However, it is easy to accidentally do or say the wrong thing, damaging your relationship or even worsening the phobia. To approach your loved one in a supportive and loving way, try following these steps.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Varied
Here's How:
- Be Supportive. People with phobias can be frustrating, refusing to do things that seem simple and normal to other people. Showing your frustration, however, will only make your loved one defensive. Do your best to stay calm and loving.
- Ask Questions. Start a conversation about the object that is feared. Be sensitive to your loved one’s reactions and do not force the issue.
- Don't Force. Flooding, in which the client is forced to confront the fear through immersion in the situation, is sometimes used by qualified professionals. However, it should never be attempted by someone who is not thoroughly trained in the technique. You could cause serious emotional damage to your loved one.
- Gently Suggest Therapy. If your loved one’s possible phobia is causing problems in daily life, gently ask whether he or she has considered treatment. Approach the topic with tact and sensitivity, never in an angry or confrontational way.
- Become Informed. Whether or not your loved one considers therapy, he or she will need support. Read up on phobias to learn about your loved one’s experience.
- Don’t Play Therapist. If you are the one who connects your loved one with treatment, you will likely become his or her main support person. Be loving and supportive, but resist the temptation to take on a therapist role.
- Participate in Therapy. Phobias are often treated with individual therapy. However, some therapists prefer to bring in close friends or relatives for family therapy sessions.
- Find Support. Being a primary support person is hard work. If you begin to feel overwhelmed or exhausted, seek out your own support system. You may benefit from a caregiver support group or individual or group therapy.
Tips:
- Take Care of Yourself. Helping a loved one through a phobia can be difficult. Make sure you take time out for yourself.
- Be Patient. Although many phobias can be quickly treated with brief therapy, some take a bit longer for success. Accept setbacks and give your loved one encouragement to keep trying.
What You Need:
- Patience
- Time
- Understanding
- Support Network
