If you have a phobia, you may be reluctant to tell those that you love. You may worry about being laughed at, or simply want to avoid being a burden. However, if you do not tell those you are close to, then you risk facing an awkward situation in the future. Here is a guide to how and when to tell others about your phobia.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: Varies
Here's How:
- Decide Whom to Tell: Depending on the nature of your phobia, it is not always necessary or advisable to broadcast its existence. As a general rule of thumb, tell those who are likely to experience a phobic situation with you. Also tell those who are close to you, allowing them to provide support and understanding.
- Decide When to Tell: If you do not come into contact with your feared situation on a regular basis, then there is no need to disclose immediately. You will have time to allow the relationship to develop trust and intimacy before disclosing your phobia. On the other hand, if your phobia greatly affects your daily life, you may need to disclose it as quickly as possible. Being honest about your phobia can prevent misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
- Don’t Wait too Long: It is natural to try to present your best self in any new relationship. However, truthfulness is a key to intimacy. Waiting too long to disclose your phobia may make the other person feel that you do not trust him or her. Use your best judgment in deciding when to tell.
- Be Matter of Fact: Most people have little or no experience with mental disorders. Therefore, they will take their cues from you in deciding how to react. Present your phobia as a simple part of your life, and those around you are less likely to overreact to the news.
- Be Ready for Questions: Humans are naturally curious. Expect those that you tell to ask questions about the phobia. Feel free not to discuss anything too personal, but try to remember that the questions are based in curiosity rather than judgment. This is a great opportunity to educate people about the condition.
- Ask for Specific Help: In order to successfully overcome a phobia, many people find that they need the support of friends and family along with their therapist. Most people are willing to help, but may be unaware of what they can do. Give specific suggestions for concrete ways that they can help you manage the phobia.
- Don’t Expect one Person to Do Everything: Many people with phobias find that having a support person with them makes the feared situation easier to manage. However, it is easy for a single person to become a crutch. Allowing one person to provide all your support can lead to codependency, as well as causing that person to burn out. Distribute your support needs among multiple people.
