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Readers Respond: Confronting the Fear of Death

Responses: 210

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Updated January 29, 2010

Rush of fear

Mine started in 05 when my classed as auntie died infront of me after that I was having panic attacks more at night, now my mum and nan died a year apart from eachother death is in the back of my mind every single day! And when this happens a massive rush of fear comes over me and I think I'm rubbing off on my kids cause I'm really paranoid with them near the roads I havnt sought help for this cause I think I might be laughed back out the docs :( I'm glad I'm not the only person who suffers from this.
—Guest chelle

Just wanting to stay alive

I never really been afaird of death it's just been recently I asked god for sign that heaven was real not something we tell our selves . And I was given a dream I was flying with large white wings I didn't know where I was all I knew I was happy and at peace than I have ever felt in my entire life . Does that mean something ? I lay awake every night scared or I awake up thinking another day how much more do I have . Im only 19 and this first time I fear death it's getting worse having panick attacks don't know what to do .
—Guest Cassie

I Can't stop it

Since i was about 11 i feared death, Because of the absolute Mystery of what would happen, Would God be there with love for me n my family n friends, Or would i be trapped in a never ending blackness like when you close your eyes, At age 15 i told my friend about it n he took me to a therapist, He helped me alot, He said "if you let that fear control your life your going to miss out on so much, if you keep thinking of that mysterious part of life you will never be able to accept fun activities, Like skydiving" I laughed at first, Soon after i realised He is right, We can't Escape Death, My Newest motto for death is, "I'd rather believe in a heaven, Than Not believe at all" That Man has changed me, I am 29 Now.
—Guest Anonymous

Depression

A day before my 8th birthday, my mom walked out. My sister and I started to see a councilor and I started feeling the need to commit suicide. Since then I've always been a depressed peron. I always told myself that I was going to kill myself tomorrow after a bad day at school or a fight with my family. The only thing that stopped me was the fear of death. That is what let's me be positive during my day, if I'm going to die (like everyone else), why not live my life the best I can. If I'm going to die tomorrow, will I be happy the way I lived my life? When I die, what really gets to me is the knowledge that the sun is going to explode. It will rapidly expand and consume our solar system and then shrink and cool down into a dense gaseous mass that is smaller than earth. After that, the gaseous mass will be sucked into the blackhole at the centre of the galaxy. But I will die to create new life, and that's good enough for me. The unknown happened before life, it will happen again after.
—Guest jared

I'm only seventeen.

I recently have lost what it is like to think and have the mindset of a child, the ability to have realizations and acknowledge the limits of my existence and my life which will come to an end one day interrupts my happiness and my daily life. It is the first thing I think of when I wake up in the morning and it is so difficult to block it out of my mind. The surrealism of knowing that one day I and my boyfriend who I am inlove with will not exist one day scares me and saddens me, I'm always on the edge about situations where I feel as if I am trying to avoid death. I do not know what to do because death is always on everyones shoulder.
—Guest Nicole Paraiso

Once terrified, but no longer

When I was 15, I had seen an accident site. A cyclist was hit by a bus, the cyclist's skull was open and his brain was lying on the road in a pool of blood. It was a terrific scene. I did not sleep for two nights. The same scene was running in my mind. Day and night, I was thinking about death. On the third day night, my mind become more rational and starting thinking that every life is going to end on the earth, one day mine will also be. So, what is there to worry if it is inevitable. That night was the last night that I stopped worrying about death. Now I am 45. No more worries about death. From the experience and observation, I feel that if body receives good enough Oxygen and good blood circulation, then the fear goes down. Those who have fear can try Pranayama (ancient breathing technique) and aerobic exercises.
—Guest Sami

The Darkness

i thought i was so alone in this. At night to me is the worse i seem to have slight panic attacks when thinking to much into it. i wake up at least 3-4 times a night just from the fear of not waking up. I think this all started when my brothers pasted away in a house fire when i was 9 and i am now 20. I lock all doors in my house, double check in the middle of the night some nights. I never open my windows i sleep with some light on at all times. I would really like to get help for this. I know the day will come when i will die and I do not want to feel this way for the rest of the borrowed time i do have. If anyone has any ideas or ways to cope please email me
—Guest Holly Robinsonm

??? seriously stop!!!!

I tell myself to stop thinking about it but I think I have a phobia now :( It has been a couple of years now that I am afraid of the whole death topic. I thought I had found my answer and I was at peace with it BUT then every now and then I have dreams (more like nightmares!) about someone dying, me dying, the after life and I get anxiety attacks! I have been really good at controlling myself but I recently had my second and realizing how big by 1st is and how everyone else is getting older makes me feel old and so so close to death. I was born Christian in a Catholic belief but seems like the answer I found with God doesn't give me peace 100% due to my nightmares! I have a lot of nightmares :(
—Guest I want to live happy with no fears!

My fear

I have a horrible aching in the pit of my stomach about death. A very young co-worker of mine passed away this week and it just brought made me think about death more. I was raised in the church and taught to believe that there is life after death, but I lie awake a night feeling sick to my stomach with fear. I think I may need to seek professional help with this it has started to effect my thoughts daily. I have prayed a lot lately for strength; patience and even for the fear to go away. I just think I may need to speak with someone about this who may help me better understand why I can't live my life instead of fearing my death.
—Guest Guest Sharon

I hate it

I am 14, and the thought of death has scared me from the age of four. I literally don't sleep at night because I'm afraid I won't wake up.... I'm also a hypochondriac, so that doesn't help, it makes it worse. To be honest, I sleep with my mother because I am afraid to die alone in my sleep. I know people think 'You're 14 and still sleep with your mom?' but it's a comfort thing. I think what scares me more, is not knowing what it is going to be like when I'm dead. What will happen to me? What will happen to my body when the world ends? Sometimes I'll be sitting there and the thought of death just pops into my head and I'll have a panic attack. I wish someone could reprogram my brain, and make me not think about death .-.
—Guest Katherine

Death, y??

Wow after reading alot of these responses im seeing that i am not the only one who is up at night with this thought of what happeneds to me when i die? is there something after this? i can not remember when this all started, probably in 02' when my grandmother died. This was the first death close to me so maybe this is y i started to think about it. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/panic disorder with slight depression and been medicated for it. Honestly my anxiety attacks are alot because of this fear. I need help and someone who can understand....Im lost at 30yrs old. What do i do? What do we all do for this?? I wish u all luck with this and pray we all get threw this.
—Guest stephanie

I will fear no Evil

I used to have a story similar to Alex's. My fear was worst at night when I was alone. I got an overwhelming feeling of dread that almost made me cry out in fear. If you're a Christian maybe this quote from Psalm 23 will help you, it certainly helped me an I keep it with me all the time. "Although I walk through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I will fear no Evil, for you are with me ; your rod and your staff, they comfort me."
—Guest Hever

The Unknown

When I was a little girl The Lion King really triggered my fear of death, losing a loved one like Simba did with his father. Him looking to the stars for some guidance from his deceased father, the pain of losing him.. So, laying in bed & looking to the stars at night out of my window when I was younger stirred up the thoughts of how do I KNOW for a fact if God is real? How do I truly know other than faith alone where I'm really going? The Bible can tell me, but I don't have evidence.. Looking to the stars & space made it seem as though an abyss. I don't know where my soul goes, I don't know how I will perceive or if I will any longer. That's probably what terrifies me the most.. laying in bed at night in the dark, with only my thoughts, hearing my bodily functions, feeling human but only merely a physical being and being scared of myself, & most of all the not knowing. I feel like I know I'm more than just human, I have a soul & conscious.. which in turns leads me to my OBEs.
—Guest Victoria

heart and soul from something to nothing

Im 28 and I've been having these thoughts of being nothing when I die most nights never throughout the day since I was 7 I close my eyes and all of a sudden death comes to mind and if there is life after because I can't handle becoming nothing I strive to know if there is life after death but that's never going to happen then I have to sit up because I have a panic attack and my heart feels weird and start thinking its not fair and why me? And why do I have to lose everyone around me???
—Guest DJ

Almost 16 and terrified of death

Im turning 16 in August, but not a night goes by that while I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I get a mini panic attack about this (I don't know when it started... It's pretty much been with me all my life). And it only happens at night, because during the day, I could think of death and nothing happens, I'm perfectly fine. Because of my fear of death, I'm scared of the dark. I can't be in a dark place alone, I have to have someone with me. The ONLY thing that calms me down when those little panic attacks happen is thinking "Everyone's going to die.... (someone's name) is going to die, (someone else's name) is going to die..." It sounds horrible, but that's the only thing that helps me relax and be able to fall asleep... I hope that I can get over this, because this has been with me for as long as I can remember, and I'm only 15, almost 16. :c
—Guest Stephanie

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