Halloween has become big business, documenting steady growth even in uncertain economic times. Ask almost any kid (or adult) about his holiday plans, and you are likely to get an earful. Trick or treating, costume parties and scary local events are all part of the fun. If your child experiences phobias, however, you may worry about his or her ability to enjoy the festivities.
Childhood Fears and Phobias
Fears are a normal part of growing up. Most adults can still remember a time when they were scared of the dark, afraid of thunderstorms or unwilling to venture into a graveyard. Because fears are so common in children, and most kids outgrow them naturally, a phobia will not be diagnosed unless the fear is severe and has lasted for at least six months.
This can make things challenging for parents, who are often torn between wanting to help their kids get over their fears and not wanting to do anything that could cause psychological trauma. The best way to find this balance is generally to follow your child’s lead. A slight “push” might be in order for a shy or reluctant child, but it is never a good idea to force him to confront a fear. At the same time, kids can develop a false bravado, particularly if their friends will all be doing something. It is important to go with your instincts and stop your child from doing something that you suspect will be too scary.
Halloween Triggers for Phobias
Halloween events, even those that are designed to be fun rather than scary, are full of potential triggers for children’s phobias. Darkness, fog, costumes, masks, fake blood and other items could cause a phobic reaction in some children.
Try to preview a particular event first, before deciding whether to let your child participate. If the event will only be held once, call ahead. Ask to speak to someone in charge who can explain the nature of the event (silly vs. scary) and describe the costumes and other effects that are involved.
Helping Your Child Cope
Like adults, most children with phobias are better able to cope with advance preparation. Rather than letting events be a surprise, it may be best to describe the event in detail in advance. Make sure that the child understands what he or she will see and how it will be presented. Review this description with the child several times before the event, including just before you arrive. Let him or her decide whether to participate, and which activities to be a part of.
At the event, let your child know that you are there for him, but resist the temptation to be overprotective. Children tend to take their cues from adults, and if you are worried about your child’s reactions, this could actually worsen her fear. Striking a balance between protection and autonomy is difficult, but it can be done.
Keep a close eye on your child without appearing to do so. Be ready to step in if he or she needs help. Just knowing that you are there can make a huge difference to your child. Out of your child’s earshot, don’t hesitate to let other adults know of the phobia, particularly those who are in charge of the event. They can help you look for phobic reactions. Never let your child overhear you discussing the phobia, however, as this can add to his or her fear.
The Bottom Line
Like adults, many children are capable of managing their own phobias to some extent. However, children tend to need a bit of extra support in order to accomplish this. Most kids with phobias can participate in most Halloween events that are geared to their age group, particularly with a parent or supportive adult close by. Learn about the event in advance and share this information with your child. Let him or her take the lead, and be ready to step in when necessary. With a bit of work, there is no reason that your child should miss all the fun of Halloween.
Of course, if your child’s fear is severe or lasts longer than six months, it is best to seek treatment right away. An untreated phobia may worsen over time, and may gradually prevent your child from fully participating in all that life has to offer. With treatment, though, most phobias can be successfully managed or cured.
Source:American Psychiatric Association. (1994). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (4th Ed.). Washington, DC: Author.
