Describe Your Fear
The fear comes in short bursts, waves of terror starting in the pit of my stomach, as I come to the realization I will one day be overcome by nothingness. It happens roughly once a day, sometimes not at all, sometimes many more times. Luckily the thought of death itself isn't always the trigger, I can watch action movies and drive by cemeteries without cringing, but the realization within my own inner monologue of my impending death, and my inability to enjoy life more often than not sends me into these panic attacks.
How I'm Coping
In the short term I cope by yelling loudly if alone, like a mental sorbet clearing my mind for a moment and ridding my body of the terror. If Yelling fails I punch something inanimate, (more often then not the roof of my car.) but never inflicting real pain, just the action is enough to snap me out of it. In the long term it gets more complicated, (being an atheist does not help) I tend to dumb my own thought processes down some, as thoughts of the cosmically big, or eternally long bring about the panic attacks. Watch a lot of TV, over indulge with food, sometimes drink -though never to excess- and occasionally smoke marijuana. The Marijuana at best of times makes me feel serene, and at worst makes me paranoid, which is still an improvement over my panic attacks. I'm not sure how one combats my fear without avoidance; there is no way to confront it as you could one of snakes or spiders, there is no forgetting it, short of psychoanalysis (which I cannot afford) avoidance of the thoughts that fill me with fear is my only avenue of coping.
Advice
- Seek help if you can, preferably by a psychiatrist or the people you feel most comfortable with, my friends know of my fear and it's very freeing not having to hide my panic attacks from them as I feel I must from my family and co-workers. Live life doing what makes you happiest, I love playing video games, sitting on my ass drinking and eating stuff that's terrible for me. Avoidance is the last line of defense and if you have to avoid, do what you enjoy not just what gets your mind off it the most.
